My Sick Husband Wants me to be Unfaithful

My husband had a stroke a very long time ago and we have not had sex for nine years. We’re both in our early 50s and he doesn’t think I should settle for a sexless life.We don’t want to split because we still love each other and our children are doing well. So my husband has suggested I need a sexual companion. He said I should just find sex where and when I could; only I should be discrete about it.I wasn’t really keen at first, but the more we talked through the emotional complications of my not being sexually fulfilled, the more the idea appealed to me. I just don’t want to hurt his feelings.Florence, by e-mail.Dear Florence,You need to know that what sounds good in theory often doesn’t work in practice. You’ve both made this decision in a very logical fashion, but your husband may still feel hurt, jealous and insecure if you follow things through. You may also feel you’ve betrayed him, even with his permission. You don’t say how severe the effect of the stroke is. But if he can’t really have sex or sexually simulate you in any way, you alone can make this decision. If and when you decide to stray, your husband must never know.Sex is a lot of things but the lack of it could destroy what seems a lovely albeit challenging relationship. If you eventually meet a prospective partner, make your position clear that you are married and are only looking for sexual satisfaction rather than a way out of your marriage.