5 Real Reasons why Hanging on to Your Ex Kills Your new Relationship

You break up with your ex for all the right reasons then finally have the courage to move on to something new and months into your new blissful relationship, your ex suddenly appears trying to squeeze his/herself back into your life.
It starts with the harmless phone calls before it proceeds to something worse. You know you've a hard time resisting because you can't completely get your ex out of your system and you know if you continue on that path, you'll destroy your new relationship and maybe yourself in the process.
So how do you handle these types of exes when they come around?
Our author gives 5 reasons why hanging on to your Ex will destroy your relationship and how to handle the situation effectively:
1. Your ex will continue to linger.
This is a promise from yours truly. Not being extremely clear with your ex will allow him to believe there is wiggle room for him to slide back into the picture. An ex who comes back and wants you to give him another chance (or rather, give “the new him” a chance) is nothing more than a ticking time bomb in your new relationship. Your ex believes it is best for both of you to give things another try, and if you are not 100 percent clear there is no chance or desire for that to happen, he will not give up. If you do not give an absolute “no,” he will believe there is some possibility for a “yes” given your history with one another. You need to be transparent and tell him you have moved on and are very happy now. Although there should be no hard feelings, there is zero chance of getting back together.
2. You aren’t putting yourself first.
Sometimes we think it’s easier to not say what we truly want to say to someone because we don’t want to deal with any of the possible negative backlash. But, that’s not fair to you. By not being clear with your ex, you are allowing him to linger. That just leads to you hurting yourself. It is absolutely necessary for you to let go of the past so you can move forward, love freely and truly receive all that you deserve. You prevent yourself from progress by allowing the past to keep affecting the future. Your ex is an ex for a reason. It’s okay to cherish the memories, but it’s important to keep the past where it belongs.
3. You’re hurting your partner.
Every time your ex comes around, it puts a ton of unnecessary stress on your current relationship. Your ex popping in is damaging what you share with your new partner. You are happy with someone new, but it is nearly impossible to build a foundation for the future using bricks made of the past. Your exe’s lingering will strain your new bond, as it will place an extreme disconnect between the two of you. It will also probably create a lot of anger and unnecessary fighting in your current relationship. Why risk all of that for someone you don’t even want in your life?
4. You’re not actually helping the situation.
Although you may believe you are protecting your ex’s feelings by being nice, you are actually just hurting him more. Allowing him to live in a world where he believes there is a possibility to reconnect with you isn’t doing anyone any favors. By not being clear and completely honest, you are simply just delaying hurting him, and in the end, you will actually wound him more. Or, if he is popping up simply because he doesn’t want anyone else to have you, you will just fall into his trap by not being truthful. That isn’t fair to you anymore than it is to him.
5. You need to get real.
It’s likely you aren’t telling the complete truth out of fear of confrontation. You’ll need to solve that eventually, so why not start now? It also isn’t a coincidence that exes always come back when you’re the happiest. It happens this way because they have yet to find their own true happiness. When they see you have found it, they assume reconnecting with you can do the same for them. I’m not suggesting to go all Dr.Phil on them, but by being open and honest, it will force them to focus on the true cause of their unhappiness. Like I said, you need to get real with yourself and with your ex. All in all, an ex poking around is rarely ever a good thing. You are so happy in your new relationship or in life in general, and that is why it is absolutely imperative you respond correctly when an ex reaches out. Be clear, be honest, be nice and be real. It may not be comfortable, but it is certainly the best thing for you, your ex and your new relationship.